Often times I hear some girls saying things like-
I cannot have a boyfriend and be paying my bills
OR
A man saying; I can't have a girlfriend and be buying food.
Wonderful 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼.
Hello my loves welcome to another article I promise to keep writing if you promise to keep reading 🦋🦋.
I am not of the opinion that your significant other is obligated to buy you things and take care of you. I personally feel they should do so because they care for you. Not because it is their DUTY.
Are you with me or not? If you're, lets go on.
A relationship should be something you want to be in, not something you have to be in.
• Are you in a relationship for benefits?
• Are you in a relationship because you feel like you owe your significant other something?
A relationship should be based on love, trust, honesty and not an insane sense of duty.
I think it all melts down to ideology. Don't get me wrong I mean it is very natural to expect things from your partner but where most of you get it wrong is that you see it as their duty. Like he/she is obliged to do so.
Your partner taking care of your bills is not a problem but you demanding it, having to utter it like it's their duty is the disgusting part.
Let me give you a story about my friend and her boyfriend, she was having trouble with taking care of her bills at some point and then she would always call me up and say how useless her boyfriend was, that doesn't he know he is supposed to be the one paying her bills bla bla bla and what I said to her she didn't like it at first but with time she understood.
I said to her ” your boyfriend doesn't owe you anything, paying your bills is your responsibility if your boyfriend truly loves you, he would not want you out on the street, he would definitely come through for you but making it his duty and saying it's a must is where you have it all wrong”. If a man truly loves you he would want to make you happy by all means. He wouldn't want you looking ugly and unkept without you even asking he would make provisions for your hair, mani’s and pedi’s or whatever. He would buy data for you so you can be online and y'all can face time etc... Lol
Your boyfriend knows that ever Saturday you have brunch with your girls and a particular Saturday you couldn't go because you're low on cash and your boyfriend can't help you out because he doesn't have as well and you say things like he better find money. Very good! That same place you want him to find money also go and get money from there.
If your girlfriend knows you love goat meat peppersoup she would prepare it for you not because it is her duty but because she knows preparing it would put a smile on your face. She doesn't owe you anything.
Sometimes you need to do things that make your partner happy. Whether it's folding the laundry, cooking for them, or attending functions with them , or for the ladies watching football with them and screaming goal even when you have absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on, you do these things not because you want to, but because it will please someone else. This in turn is supposed to bring happiness to you....kind of a cause and effect thing.
I am not saying we should give up the independent aspects of our lives just because we are in a relationship. But what i am saying is we need to understand the imperative that's comes with a relationship, which would entail no longer doing things that serves oneself alone. When you commit yourself to another person, you commit yourself to things they maybe interested in.
XOXO 🦋