Hey Y’all, welcome to my blog 🦋🦋🦋 Let's jump right into it. 😊
My people always say “He who finds a wife finds a home” but what happens when the home is on fire?
Let me start by saying most Nigerians are CONFORMIST so you’ll understand the basis for this argument.
Firstly, because of the fact that they are conformist they tend to inculcate this very behavior from generation to generation.
Believe me when I say many marriages in Nigeria are failing !
But you won’t hear about all these because my people believe in “don’t spread your dirty laundry outside” that’s why you see a lot of women getting beaten up, abused and tortured and almost killed by their husbands and still sticking in those marriages. These are the sad stories no one is telling.
Let’s date this back to the fact that many Nigerian mothers don’t train their male children. They believe a man should have no business in the kitchen. Cooking is for the female child. That's why most mothers say, better learn how to cook so that your husband doesn't throw you out. And I ask, should an important skill such as nourishing oneself be left in the hands of another? I am not saying my husband should not work and stay home because he wants to cook I am saying he should be able to help out.
Mothers make their male children feel way superior to their female children that is why you see many men filled with so much pride because they have been brought up as kings while the women are brought up as servants to serve the king. That's why a lot of women are filled with insecurity and no confidence what so ever.
I have witnessed a lot of failing marriages but the sad part is that they still live with these monsters in the name of husbands. And when being asked why? They’ll say “where will I start from” or “I’m only staying because of my kids” or “what will people say about me”. I know it's not easy but what about yourself? If you die who would take care of your kids?
I have witnessed and heard so many stories of abusive marriages. Here's a few
• Where the husband is a drunkard and his wife is his punching bag. The woman actually wanted to leave the marriage before he kills her but her family kept telling her to stay because of her kids. When she dies the same family will bury her I'm just saying. 🤷♀️🏼
• This woman, a trader started to make more money than her husband and the man who is a bum started to accuse her of sleeping with her customers after which he broke her head and she almost died. That was when the story came to light. She said she had been keeping quiet for years because people had told her not to “spread her dirty laundry in public” but she had been dying in her own home. And these people didn’t help save her.
My point is this because we are a religious nation we mostly don’t believe in divorce and it is usually frowned upon by the society so a lot of battered women still take shelter in these failing marriages. You’d be surprised the stories you hear about some marriages. Mind you they are getting no help and they are dying slowly.
I believe if there’s anything feminist should be fighting for its these women. This is where they need freedom. This is where they need liberation.
Xoxo